Wedding Vows (a great check-up list)

By Steve Cornell

Last weekend, I performed a wedding for a couple who are 82 and 90 years old. Each one had journeyed through deep sadness over the loss of a mate. Each one also had no plans to remarry. But, in the providence of God, they found a new friendship that brought special joy to their lives.

We held the ceremony in the groom’s yard under a large blossom tree. At the wedding reception, one of the daughters of the bride gave a beautiful toast. She said that her friends all commented on how “cute” it was that her mom at age 82 was marrying a 90 year old man. But, “cute,” she said, was not an adequate word for describing what had happened a few moments ago under the blossom tree.

She suggested that “courageous” was a better word. How easily, after such sadness and loss, each one could have finished their days alone. But they stood and publicly repeated their vows (by memory!) as a testament of courage. They embraced the joy of new companionship! Without hesitation, we lifted our glasses and toasted this act of courageous love!

Over my 25 years of pastoral ministry, I have asked about 100 couples to publicly repeat their vows to each other. I am grateful to know that almost all of them are faithfully living by those vows. Some have struggled through difficult seasons but have grown stronger in their love. I tell couples that it’s one thing to be in love; it’s another to love someone throughout life. The high calling of Scripture is to, “Give honor to marriage, and remain faithful to one another in marriage” (Hebrews 13:4, NLT). The kind of love that builds a lasting and meaningful marriage is a value word more than an emotion. It’s life according to the wedding vows— a rich and adventuresome life. Being in love is where it begins; Behaving in love is what causes true love to grow stronger.

In the wedding vows, each one commits to taking the other to be wife or husband and to have and to hold from this day forward. Then, each one states a promise to be the other’s loving and faithful wife or husband, in prosperity or in need, in joy or in sorrow, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death causes us to part, according to God’s standards.

If you’re married, take time to reflect on the words you vowed and the one to whom you vowed them. The vows offer a great marital check-up list! If you are planning to be married, consider carefully whether you are ready and willing to live by the commitments in the vows. Ask whether the person you’re interested in will live by these vows. It takes maturity to faithfully fulfill vows of deep devotion. If you are not mature enough, take time to grow up and prepare for marriage. It’s not easy to live in a deeply meaningful marriage, but it’s possible. Lifelong love and companionship is more than an idealized dream; it is a journey taken by courageous people of deep character.

Steve Cornell
Senior pastor
Millersville Bible Church
58 west Frederick Street
Millersville, Pa. 17551