Taking the hand of the one you love

Several weeks ago, I did something that to my embarrassment I had not done for a while. It was a Saturday morning and my wife suggested that we go to Lititz, Pennsylvania to visit shops and a new market. As we walked the streets, I took my wife’s hand and we walked hand-in-hand. At that moment it dawned on me that it had been a while since we had walked hand-in-hand. It seemed so simple, yet made me reflect on my sense of negligence.

We stay so busy putting our “hands” to many good tasks.

On that morning, however, I felt a little disappointment with myself that perhaps I had been too busy. Then I also realized that when we normally walk together, we’re accompanied by two Shih Tzus— less than ideal for holding hands!

Holding hands is one of the earliest exchanges of affection between couples. It is usually an act of bravery on the part of a man to reach out to hold her hand! As he ventures into unreached territory, he’s unsure. “Will I be shaken off?” “Perhaps she doesn’t feel we’re ready for this?”

Do you remember the first time you held hands with the one you love? There is something special about holding the hand of the one you love. It’s hard to be at odds with each other when holding hands. But it is also hard to hold hands when things are not right between you.

I’ll never forget the symbolic importance of the hand after hearing it presented at my wife’s nephew’s wedding. The pastor asked the bride and groom to face each other as he drew attention to the value of their hands. As he did, our nephew, who is an athletic, tough kind of guy, wept to the point of bringing us all to tears.

The pastor told his bride to hold our nephew’s hands palms up, so she may see the gift that they are to her.

“These are the hands of your best friend, young and strong and vibrant with love, that are holding yours on your wedding day, as he promises to love you all the days of his life. These are the hands that will work along side yours, as together you build your future, as you laugh and cry, as you share your innermost secrets and dreams. These are the hands you will place with expectant joy against your stomach, until he too, feels his child stir within you.”

“These are the hands that look so large and strong, yet will be so gentle as he holds your baby for the first time. These are the hands that will work long hours for you and your new family. These are that hands that will passionately love you and cherish you through the years, for a lifetime. These are the hands that will countless times wipe the tears from your eyes: tears of sorrow and tears of joy. These are the hands that will comfort you in illness, and hold you when fear or grief wrack your mind. These are the hands that will tenderly lift your chin and brush your cheek as they raise your face to look into his eyes: eyes that are filled completely with his love and desire for you.”

The pastor told my nephew to hold his bride’s hands palms up, where he may see the gift that they are to him.

“These are the hands of your best friend, smooth, young and carefree, that are holding yours on your wedding day, as she pledges her love and commitment to you all the days of her life. These are the hands that will hold each child in tender love, soothing them through illness and hurt, supporting and encouraging them along the way, and knowing when it is time to let go.
These are the hands that will massage tension from your neck and back in the evenings after you’ve both had a long hard day. These are the hands that will hold you tight as you struggle through difficult times.”

“These are the hands that will comfort you when you are sick, or console you when you are grieving. These are the hands that will passionately love you and cherish you through the years, for a lifetime. These are the hands that will hold you in joy and excitement and hope, each time she tells you that you are to have another child. These are the hands that will give you support as she encourages you to chase down your dreams.”

After referring to this in my sermon last Sunday, a widower told me how much he misses holding his wife’s hand (They had been married 61 years). He told me that the first time he reached for her hand, she later told him she felt an electric shock go from the top of her head to the sole of her foot (in a good way!). Some widows also greeted me and said, “Keep reminding the married couples to love each other this way. They will miss it some day.” Hold the hand of the one you love before the day is over.

Steve Cornell